Home Inspector Crystal Balls Recalled

Recalls are a big deal right now, and it seems no industry is safe from defective products. Hundreds of products are recalled every year in every category from food, kitchen appliances, cars, Christmas trees, etc. But, perhaps the most alarming recall of 2021 was ACME’s crystal ball.

Weather forecasters, stockbrokers, soothsayers, and home inspectors use ACME’s crystal ball. Acme advertises the ball as empowering regular people with clairvoyance to predict the future reliably. Accordingly, home inspectors generally add the fortune-telling orb to their toolbox, next to their x-ray glasses. Our investigative journalists interviewed hundreds of homeowners who reported being victims of these faulty forecasts.

Bob S. from Michigan was heartbroken, saying he “relied on the home inspectors crystal ball to let him know his HVAC system would quit eight months after the home inspection.”

John A., a first-time home buyer from Richmond, told us that he chose his inspector based on his experience with crystal balls but was ultimately let down when he noticed his windows started fogging the first summer after moving into his home.

Janet W. admitted being unfamiliar with home inspections. Still, she was reasonably sure her home inspector should have been able to predict that her microwave would fail within the first year. She’s looking into whether or not her inspector even had his crystal ball calibrated before the inspection.

We reached out to a local Richmond home inspector about the recall, and he was hysterical.  Unfortunately, before realizing his crystal ball was faulty, he used it to gamble away his life savings on a Redskins game. “In retrospect, I should have known the Redskins could not win,” he lamented.

We have not been able to reach ACME for questions. However, the CPSC says, “immediately stop using the product” and warns home buyers to assume that their home inspection report is only accurate for the day of inspection.